It takes several months for me to finally write this and post it in a blog... after months of contemplating of finally bringing out..here it is.

I have nowhere to tell you everything that is in my mind so I thought that this might the place to let it all out. After all, this is the only place where you could read and know what's inside my mind.. and heart.

I am sorry that it must arrive to this point. I know that my exit (this time) was quite a raw and rough one because you may never saw it coming and I never even said goodbye. We had been talking real good before I dropped off and walked out. But I know I have to...sooner or later.

I have to tell you that this did not happen overnight. It had been going around my mind for the past weeks. You know how we were. This scene is familiar to you.. either one of us is always on the exit, but I guess it always has been me. And you know the reason... the discomfort, the doubts, the struggle. Please dont misinterpret me by saying this so. I am not insincere to you when we talk coz I meant every word I say. It was not a fascade. It never is. However, there are situations that I always go back to myself to check reality and it all comes back to me.

I think I do not need to explain all of these because you know the reasons, we talkd about this before. This time I have to do the move.

Thank you for being part of my life. It's been easy for me to relate with someone that I havent even met. It is crazy, I know, but it happened to me. I guess it happened because I allowed it to happen. I never asked for you but you came one day in my life. I gave it a try to know you and I did get to know you and you get to know me as well. We've been through tough times, I shared your sorrow. Your concerns became mine. We cared. And I did not mind it even though I havent seen you yet. It's been a pleasure to know about you, your interests, your dreams, your family and even your weaknesses. I know at some point you get to know me too. I did not regret it that you became part of my life. I keep asking myself why am I sticking up still despite all the complications. I realized, that's it's hard to give up something when it's all you've been waiting for.

However, i realized that things are proven to know that they are really real. I could not go on reaching out to you , relate to your everyday life and even plan my future with you when I do not even see you! I got a lot to give but it's hard to give it when you dont really know who you are really giving it to.

So, now, Im giving it all up.. Yes, I never asked for you, but you came. You have the attributes that I have been looking for in a person. And, at some point , you may be the person that I have been waiting for.  But, until everything is proven and done the right way, I have to give it up. It was nice knowing you... thank you for everything! If time will be good to us, then maybe we'll get to bump into each other someday. But if it will not happen, all I could say then is that Im thankful to know you.. God bless you!

Going into medicine is such a high price to pay... it doesnt just require money, a large percent of your useful time but it also warrants your personal choice to give up the things that was once was your comfort zone.

It's a sacrifice in it's purest form.. It's a point of no return. You will be made to decide on far you'll go to bridge the gap between your own and other's wishes for you and make a stand for the benefit of helping others, to become a healer. You will be called upon to deny your own idea of convenience and take the path of a rough, broken and less-travelled road. You are required to gather and muster the courage to face fears, even your own fears. There will be times when you just want to go back to your previous life and do your thing and forget about the whole issue of helping the sick and the maime. Many times, your tears and sweat would meet for the pursuit of knowledge and procurement of harsh but needful training.  Since it's a less-travelled road, you would not be surprised to see that you will be left out from all the rest. You will be eliminated from their joys and escapades of a free life since you have sought to pursue this path. Admittedly, there will be relationships and possibilites that you have to give up because you're in this track where you'll be unreachable and will be having a world of your own.

Despite all these, it's by one's courage and personal ardent desire to become a healer that makes one travel this broken, unpopular road of medicine. It demands one to make a stand and reach to attain this noble profession of healing the sick. Sacrifices are inevitable, time could become an enemy and even personal comfort is at stake but one's calling to become a healer makes it all worthwhile.  Sheer passion could fade away with time and by circumstances in life. But it is one's personal calling that makes him stick to the path, labor and toil until a shining reward will be attained at the latter end. Why the sacrifice? It's worth it!!

(I hope this inspired you guys to keep batting, keep holding on.... 1 year to go in medschool.. more years of training to come... but it will be worth our while...)

the sand, the  shadow and me..

the beach I'll always love..

peaceful and calm...

--basking under the scorching sun yet having fun in the cool waters.

Jethro with his friend Jared.. strolling in Camp Canaan

there's nothing more worthwhile doin than walking in the sand with a friend..

Family pictorial.. hahaha!

Cave Adventure with the pastors and their families...twas a nice experience!